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I'm still a little shocked, but I'm coming off of it enough to share my amazing news. Yesterday, I was voted in as the president-elect for the Public Relations Student Society of America, UALR chapter, which means that in January, I will be the president! I still can't believe it...

I have also applied for an Administrative Assistant II position in the Communications department at UALR. I was told by the sponsor of the PRSSA (who also happens to be my academic adviser) that the Communications department is responsible for all of the school's Public Relations, so it would be an incredible job for me. It only pays 26K, but that is a lot more than what I am making now, not to mention the amazing tuition discount. The chair of the department e-mailed me yesterday to let me know that she received my application and that she would let me know if they are needing additional information. All applications originally go to human resources, and only the ones that they feel qualify make it to the appropriate departments, so that is one hurdle I have jumped. I made sure to e-mail the chairperson back to thank her for letting me know where I am in the hiring process.

I made an 'A' in my music class for the semester so I don't have to take the final. Yippee!!!

Anyway, that is all that is going on with me right now. Hopefully I will have some wonderful news to update with in the near future!


My chest hurts, in a way that makes it very difficult to breathe. Obviously it is stress related. All of this waiting on the future is agony for me. I am a planner by nature, so while everything is up in the air, I will continue feeling a bit strung out. I want my life to have purpose, and although I have made some major steps to try to change my position in life, I need something bigger to stir up the pot a little. Something major needs to happen. 



I'm feeling a little better since all of the incidents last week. Matt and I are both putting in 40 hours at Papa John's this week and next week. 

I have some promising news in spite of all of this nonsense. My friend Khala informed me of a job at UALR in Little Rock for an Administrative Assistant II position in the physical plant that pays $26,300 a year. Apparently it has been posted off an on for the last couple of months and still hasn't been filled because they haven't found worthy applicants yet. Khala helped me polish my resume and told me that it was okay to stretch the truth on it a little bit. She thinks that I have a very good shot at getting it. If I do, Matt and I will be moving back to Little Rock. It would be one of those things that is just too good to pass up because I would only have to pay $5 per credit hour for school, not to mention all of the insurance benefits. I need everyone to pray for me on this one.

That is really all I know for now. We have to get new brakes tomorrow, but we can only afford one axle right now. I will continue posting more information as time progresses. 
 ...it did. I took time off from Papa John's last week and this week to clean apartments at my complex. I cleaned some last week, and every day this week I bugged the manager to see if there was anything yet, but as of yesterday the painter hadn't been here yet. So, this evening I called the manager again to see if the painter finally did some work, and she said that he did, but there was a problem and she couldn't talk to me right then. I tried calling her later, got voice mail. She called me back and left me a voice mail saying that she was bringing someone in here to "knock out" apartments, and sorry. That's it. She didn't sound remorseful or anything. Matt thinks that I'm over-reacting, but I've been burned like this in the past. I feel like such a fool. I only worked 10 hours last week at Papa John's and got paid $160 for cleaning, which I had to pay $100 on my credit card balance because it was turned over to collections. I paid Capital One though. I have a bad feeling that the shit is about to hit the fan worse than it has already.

I had an emotional breakdown at work because of that voicemail, which instigated a series of bad anxiety attacks. The assistant manager (who happens to be younger than us) who was on duty was talking about his lease ending at the end of August and suggested that he and his roommate and Matt and I move into a 3 bedroom apartment. He's wanting to stay in Little Rock, we're wanting to stay in Conway. We're still discussing it. Who knows what will happen at this point.

I need to vent

*Sigh*     So, I find out yesterday that my position at the apartments that got us half off rent no longer exists. They got rid of it because supposedly they can't afford it anymore. We are now back to square one... for the bijillionth time. 

Current progress (in progress):

1. Had a second interview at Peace Lutheran Church yesterday for a part-time administrative assistant position. Not too sure if this is going to work out, especially now since our circumstances have changed. The interview went fine, but at one point in the interview they asked me about my faith. What could I say? I lied through my teeth, and now I feel like a horrible person for it. I still believe in God, but I disagree with the church. Sometimes I feel that the "church" makes me feel bad for being me.  I didn't say anything about the church, but I did talk about my history with God, and the mission trips that I've gone on to South America. I really don't want them to offer me the job, but I have a strange feeling that they will.

2. Since our circumstances have changed, I have decided to look for full time jobs and try to work out a full time school schedule around it. Thank God we have the internet to make that dream possible. Yeah, we'll see.

3. Applied at Conway Corporation today for a cashier position. Seems promising.

4. Applied for an office manager position at Hanks Fine Furniture, a legal assistant position, and I think something else but I really don't remember.

I think I am suddenly being faced with having to sacrifice a lot. I am fully aware that taking on a full course load while working full time will be stressful, but I think with the amount of determination that I have, I will be able to handle it. I would rather have a full time job and be able to breathe than to work a part time job and continue to feel suffocated by my angst.


I had some thoughts last night

When I was laying awake, trying to fall asleep in bed last night, I had an interesting thought that never occured to me. I talked to my grandmother on the phone before I went to bed for the first time in a week, when in the past we used to talk almost every day. I know that school and studying takes up the majority of my time, but I am no longer a phone person and I figured out the reason why: I'm happy.

I realized that most of the time when I called anyone, it was usually because my life wasn't going the way I would have liked for it to go. Granted, I think that it is a perfectly normal and natural thing to look to your friends and family when you need to vent or help coping with things, but mine was excessive. 

I recall being on the phone every free hour that I had when Brian and I were still together. I was unhappy with my relationship with him without fully knowing it. The strange thing is that when I would call people to talk about what was going on with him, I was really admitting that I knew that something was really wrong yet I was the last to admit it. 

The entire time that I have been with Matt, we have only had 1 major argument but only shared what happened with 1 person. He has made me so very happy the duration of our relationship, and even though everybody knows how much I love him and how happy I am, I don't call people up to tell them anything about it.

Which got me thinking: Are we programmed to tell people about the bad while leaving out the good?
I pose this question because if we have a bad experience at a restaurant, hotel, etc., we are quick to tell anyone who will listen, but if we have a good experience, chances are it will slip our minds to mention anything about it. So, I think that this could be applied to the good vs the bad that happens in our lives.

Any thoughts on this? 
I was expecting to have to do a research paper when I signed up for the class "Academic Writing & Research," which is just a fancy name for English Composition II. My teacher isn't teaching us from a textbook (which I love by the way), but instead having us write 3 papers this semester that she is calling a "project." The reason why it is a project is because all 3 papers will be about the same topic, and I'm assuming that they will flow with each other.

Our assignment is to come up with a topic about something that bugs us, or something that disturbs us. I have several ideas, but so far they have been extremely broad and she is wanting something more specific. We have to stay away from religion because she feels that religion is too personal. 

I'm thinking about writing about things that teenagers do that their parents are oblivious to, and why the parents or oblivious. I'm even considering doing it on older parents raising teenagers and why they don't know their children's friends and what the child is involved in. I don't know what all I'll be able to come up with from that, but I would like input on that or other topics that I could run with. 

Reflections on Economics

My economics professor is teaching us that economics is the study of choice. In doing so, he is trying to modify our thinking of what economics is in the fact that it does not always have to do with money. Our choices that we make can affect us and even people that we don't consider in our choices further down the road than just today. 

Here is something closely related but almost a tangent, if you will. In my early twenties, I used to babysit for a couple that went to my church. My family had been close to the husband for a number of years before he met his wife. He was in my dad's church choir (for those who don't know about my family, my dad is a church choir director). Anyway, after babysitting for this couple for a couple of years and being paid $50 every time I watched their 2 children, the wife called me one evening and told me that her husband embezzled $500,000 from the Methodist district in Fayetteville. Obviously he went to jail, lost his wife and kids, and different possessions were sold off to apply to the debt.

So here's the question (keep economics in mind, what you know of it and the little background I gave you): Does that mean that I owe the Methodist district all of the money that was paid to me through babysitting, being that I was paid with tainted money?

Here's another question: If a robber steals money from a bank or any place of business that would have a lot of cash, for every service and item that the robber bought... would the people that the robber paid for goods and services to ultimately owe the original places that the cash was stolen from? Could this scenario be argued in a court of law?

To go on a different topic (still related to economics): Rationality refers to people making choices out of self interest. 

My question: Would phobias and addictions be considered part of economics? I actually had to argue a point with Matt (my boyfriend) about phobias being related to choice, hence being related to economics. Economics, remember, is not only about today, but the future as well.

Obviously we cannot control our phobias, they just happen, and we try to make sure that we can still have normal lives despite the special accomodations that we make for ourselves to avoid confrontations. We makes choices that will cause us to not have to deal with our phobias, but most people don't think through these decisions to greater measures.

I am afraid of water, but only to a certain degree. Let's say that someone who isn't afraid of getting on an airplane and flying but is deathly afraid of water. So, this same person who is afraid of water is going to get on an airplane and fly over a body of water. Of course there is always a chance that the airplane could malfunction causing a crash into that body of water, ultimately making that one person who is afraid of water have to face their fear or go into shock over the event that just occured. What is wrong with this picture? The fact that the person booked the flight because they enjoy flying, but not factor in that they could be be flying over a body of water. So, is this person better off saving themselves the unforeseen agony of there being a problem or are they better off taking their chances by getting on the airplane in the first place?

What do you think?